Just as the sunlight is extending farther into the days as spring continues, so Jamie's reaching deeper into my heart. I feel so close to him and it breaks my heart when I am not with him, but at the same point I'm anxiously anticipating his next arrival. Last time he was here, we were kissing and the intimacy we have makes me feel like nothing else in the world matters. Doting on each other fondly and compassionately, I started shedding tears of joy in his arms. As he wiped tears off my cheek, the moment grew more precious.

Though sometimes I feel like everything is too good to be true and I'm walking through fields of daisies hearing music lift my spirit, we keep each other grounded. In fact, the more we argue the closer we grow to each other because we always resolve our issues and come out with a deeper understanding of one another. Our arguments are few and far between and, while they tend to start off very quiet and contemplative, they always turn to gentle and tenderhearted discussions.

Though this is only my personal observations and thoughts, I have a theory about how to build a strong and lasting relationship. I believe that two things must be present for a relationship to last long term: tenderness and commitment. Couples need to sit down and discuss their concerns or their pain in a compassionate environment. Walking on pins and needles, avoiding serious issues, and going to bed angry are things that I never want. I, personally, am too open to avoid issues. The few times that Jamie and I did have arguments, they started very late in the evening, but we worked through them even if that took us until five o'clock in the morning (which happened once). If two people care for each other they should to be willing to (1) listen and (2) speak compassionately with a tender heart towards the other person. Obviously, if one person is not truly committed than they can turn into a cancer that spreads through a family. Jamie understands my views on compassion and agrees with them. He has a theory of his own, which is that so many couples get married with their eyes closed (to the problems, their partners faults, etc) and that when they get married they open their eyes, which leads to divorce. We have both committed to doing the opposite of that. We are exploring those problems, faults, things that may irritate us, and differences now with our eyes open, but when we get married we are, in essence, accepting those things and will close our eyes. That doesn't mean that we won't push each other to grow as people though. In previous relationships, I usually would end it because I discovered things that I couldn't live with, so even though I hadn't articulated it quite as well as Jamie did, this seems to have been my philosophy as well. There isn't anything about Jamie that I've found I can't live with. I already know there will be somethings that may get on my nerves, like his disorganization or his going back to school after I just finished, but nobody is perfect (including me). Ha - random insert - he does a great Bill Cosby Jello commercial & Bill Clinton impersonations. He makes me laugh so hard and he certainly keeps thing interesting with his very imaginative ideas.

Though I have been getting excited about what the future holds for us, sometimes it feels good to just revel in the joy that I'm experiencing. I am continually blessed and it causes me to be in further awe of the Lord above.

Lately, I've really enjoyed listening to India Arie's - He Heals Me. Some of the song lyrics are:

Told him my biggest secret
And he told me four.
He smiled at me and said
that makes me love more
And then he made me laugh
And I knew it was a sign
That he was a man,
That I wanted in my life
And with every passing day
I feel more and more of that way

He heals me
He knows the real me
And he accepts me, he never hurts me
He heals me
He knows the real me
And he accepts me, he never hurts me
He heals me,
He heals me

I can play him songs, all through the night,
And he will listen to every line,
And even when I’m wrong, he is still kind
He chooses his words wisely when he tells me I’m not right.
And yes he is a beautiful man,
But he is also a beautiful friend
He heals me
He knows the real me
And he accepts me, he never hurts me