Hey guys! Wow last night definitely deserves some blogging. Holy monkey wrench. It was awesome. Well after thanksgiving dinner abbey and I went to our friend Charles house to hang out with him and his family, which was cool. There were tons of kids running around like mad crazy. Then i came back and changed and Abbey, and I and some of her guy friends went to go see that Paul walker movie, which was uhhh ok i suppose. Then as we were coming back we got a call from those same guys that they were gonna go down to Madigans, so we decided to go too, so they picked us up at her house, and the night truly began. So we got there and the guys we came with couldn't get in but we saw Kathy inside so we decided to stay and they went to another bar. Well anyways while hanging out and drinking with Kathy and her friends, she had a group of her guy friends (not the same guys as before) come down to hang out with them at Madigans. So we were all hanging out and drinking, till we decided to go downtown to Bourbon St. So after taking one of Kathy's friends home all 7 people (3 guys 4 girls) packed into this cute guy named Donny's car and we all headed downtown to park. When we got there it was misting and cold as all hell, but that didn't stop us. Barely nobody was on Bourbon St. it was so wierd, but all of the venues let us in because they were so slow and they needed the business. We owned that st. last night. It was crazy!! We just went from one bar to another back and forth and to another and back and forth and all up and down. All the guys were drinking these 1/2 gallon beers that they bought for $5. Crazy! So ne ways Donny had already started hitting on me at that point, which was interesting. What can i say he was fun to makeout with and dance with. So ne ways yeah then he started telling me that i was the perfect girl for him, and crazy shit like that "do you wanna be my girlfriend?" and like your so hot, cute, blah blah blah, and that he wants to marry a virgin just like me and that we should have babies. YEAH CRAZY!
You know it never ceases to amaze me how men, even in their drunkest state, can conjure up the right words to put women in their weakest moments. Now that's a quote if i ever saw one, huh? No i didn't do ne thing bad, or that bad. So by this point it is about 4am and we start all thinking geez we should probably go home. Except Donny was our designated driver and he was way to drunk to drive. After Donny made us walk in the wrong direction on purpose for like 25 min we turned around and got to the car like an hour later. It took so long cause Donny bought another drink, and Chris oh god his friend Chris was so funny. Chris would randomly walk up to people and start conversations with them, and do crazy stuff like put a giant size orange cone on his head and wore it as a fashion statement infront of some police men. So when we got to the car Chris started talking to some Garbage man picking up trash in the parking lot, and bummed a cigarette off of them. While he was smoking his cigarette his hat kept flying off in the wind and he kept chasing it around all drunkardly, while we were in the car half laughing and half getting pissed cause we wanted to go home. Oh yes and let me remind you by this point everyone is freeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzing! So ne ways after they took me home, I took Kathy and her other friend home, and then abby and the guys went back to her house, and then they guys left to drive (don't worry one of their sober friends Obbie drove) them back home, cause all of them lived like an hour away in Albany. Well so after taking Kathey and her friend home, i got back at 6am! Yeah crazy! I walked in and my parents were reading the morning paper and having their coffee. It was pretty funny. They didn't really care, which was cool, and i went to sleep till like 3:30 in the afternoon. So yeah Donney said that he wanted to take me out tonight, and i told him honey you won't even remember me in the morning. So we'll just see if he calls! Yeah right!! Well ne ways guys yes things down here get so buck wild, it's crazy! Kisses and hugs to all.

Well yes i am at home, or well not really, i dunno. I'm in New Orleans, with my family, again! It feels good, wierd, strange, wierd, and yet kinda relaxing i suppose. I have papers that i am suppose to be writing, (supposedly) No emily you will write them when your here, sorry about that. So yes tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and my parents want me to get up at the crack of dawn at 9am to go to church. Bah about the crack of dawn part. So yes i called Shannon, many of you remember him as the docter that i see when i'm here, so yes he recently bought a house, and he invited me over tonight, but i thought that it would be a better situation if we went out so sat. night we are supposedly gonna go out somewhere.
Haha today i was driving around with no makeup, ewwww shame on me, and you know who i see, Charles a good friend of mine from camp (a fellow counselor) so we both pulled our cars off the road to say hey to each other. And we said that we should all go out on fri night to get crunked, and have a good time. Abby my other friend from camp is coming over with her parents tomorrow for thanksgiving lunch/dinner (whatever eating at 2pm should be called) so it will be good to see her. Charles said her and Abbey were thinking about going with my parents to the airport to pick me up, but they decided it might be better if just my parents went cause I haven't seen them in so long. Regaurdless it made me feel so happy that people here were actually happy to see me, besides my parents, and my father was grumpy and tired at the time, but what else is new. Well goodnight to all and to all a goodnight.

so guys things lately have been crazy. Tues. night i stayed up in the studio till 2:30am with constance. Then yesterday i was at the studio from 9am class till 3am, with a few short breaks. This semester is getting crazy. My to do list just keeps mounting. During exams i will have to make strick schedules for my self it will be something like the following:
wake up go to library, to do research for art history paper.
study for psych
then work on my model, allowed to have breakdown and cry during this time
sleep for 4 hours
library
study
work on model and have breakdown
sleep 4 hours
library
study
wor on model (allowed to kill yourself during this alloted time)
Ne ways enough of the bitching. I get to go home to see my family on tuesday! Holy cow that's so soon! Muah, Muah!

I'm such a fool. Why, Why am i always conviced that the next guy will be different from the last. That we can have an equally good time togeter, but like i said i'm wrong. Men take what they want and then, then they leave you unsatisfied and hoping that the next time it will be different. Leaving you to ponder alone, and make you feel used. That is what they do best isn't it??? Always leave you wanting more, but never fulfill your needs. It's an endless cycle, and it sucks. My psychology teacher has been talking about motivation relating to sex, and he says that the only reason hunters would return home to their wives if for the sex. That they were classically conditioned to come back due to the sex. I can definitely see how that's true, unfortunately times have changed. Now they get what they want and they move on to their next victim.
I am aware that there are nice guys out there. It's just such a rare finding now a days that it's rediculous. Written at 6:47pm (their times are not correct)

Howdy folks! Warning this blog is not for those of the faint of heart. Well you might ask what has been up with me? I mean since it is my blog! Well i'll tell you what's up beeah Constance and I are way to horny for our own good. We are always in the room working on projects, and talking about sexual things, which only triggers the sexual frustration even more. I feel that even if i was to have a whole weekend of pure lovin (of course minus the real deal) that even after all of that i would still be all pent up. Of course that is not to say that a weekend with a good man wouldn't help, in fact i am taking applications. The application would say something to the effect of "Man Child needed (warning long hours, and overtime will be needed)." So yes...
ok enough of that. Hmm yes school is busy...blah,blah,blah...almost no time of freedom...blah, whine, blah.
Ok now that that is out of my system. Constance and I just continue to have good times in our room. I really do love her as a roomate. Last night i was up till 5am with a light on in the room crashing around trying to finish a project, and not to mention the fact that there is a pile of my clothes on the floor (which have been used recently as seating) and there is salt all over the floor (from my halloween costume that was stepped on), hmm what else yes my folder papers are all over the floor, my supplies have been taking over the sofa for quite (that can't be right, oh well) sometime, i never empty out the used coffee filters, they just rot until the next time the machine is used, hmm geez to most people i would be the worst roomate in the world. Oh yeah and not to mention that i never leave for weekends, EVER. I mean bc my family in New Orleans and all. But after all this Constance tells me she doesn't care that i'm messy, that if my clothes are on the floor that that only provides more comfortable seating in the room. After a long night in the studio working, she will leave york peppermint patties taped to my computer, as a treat because i worked hard. She just rocks me.
Yes also there has been some problems with the musketeers, yes it is a sad subject to discuss, which hopefully has been resolved to the best that it can be. But yes recently i have been growing bitter at rachel for abandoning us, except when chris goes to work, then she would call me to go hang out. My cynical tones were heard by all, including rachel, which only further pushed her away, obviously. Well anyways like i said hopefully it has been resolved to the best that is can be, because as all of you probably know rachel is my love, and i do indeed love her very very much. I have missed her deeply, and hope that my longings will be, though never fulfilled due to work, and life changes in general, but hopefully more fulfilled. I love you deary!
Well i'm going to try and study for a psych test, wish me luck!

Hello again folks. Mmmmm yeah so it's sat. night and i really really wish i was in charleston watching the jump little children show. I'm beating myself up for not going. I guess u live, u learn, then u gets luvs. So last night (Halloween was fun)... I went as a turkey. This idea came to me when i was in the dollar store at the last minute trying to throw together a costume. As soon as I saw that big turkey pan i thought mmmm interesting what if i tied that around my butt, wore a baister around my neck, had salt and pepper around my arms, with cranberries taped all over me, with crazy fake looking wanna be feathers sticking out of my hair. So yes this is what i was for halloween, a thanksgiving turkey. I suppose it didn't necessarily have to be a thanksgiving turkey.. just a turkey. Our group definitely had a strange variety of characters...Ellen (Rogue) , Rachel (went as fresh prince), Chris (the love pirate), Constance (a vegas dancer), Brandon ( Indiana Jones), and I (the turkey) all went trick or treating. We went in a rich neighborhood so we got like lots of whole candy bars. Unfortuantely Rachel, Ellen, and I seriously seriously have to get ourselves together and join weightwatchers.
Ok so after i typed the above paragraph i left it on my computer bc i knew i wasn't done, and we went to charlotte to goof around. We had a good time just wondering, but unfortunately on the way back at a stop light we got hit by a hit and run drunk driver. We are ok obviously my car has some definte scratching up on it from the accident... but no major dents or ne thing. After he hit us we paused and then procedeed to pull of the road and he drove right past us. A car of people came up to us and said that the same guy just ran them off the road, and that they had gotten the liscense plate number. Which was awesome but unfortunately they didn't stay around cause they had stuff to do, which sucks because now they can't do ne thing to the guy cause we don't have the name or number of the guy who wrote down and saw the liscense plate. I'm so mad at myself for pulling over cause seriously that guy could have gone and killed someone last night. If i wouldn't have pulled over he would have been stuck. Then he would have gotten his liscense taken away. Uhhh people like that make me sooooo f-in mad.
It's sunday morning I am obviously in my room, aka not a church thanking god for his many wonderful blessings. I didn't go last week, or the past two weeks before that. I dunno my spiritual side...i know it needs an awakening, I can feel it, but I'm hesitant for many reasons. One being that i feel like if i have a spiritual renewal... I feel almost like all these Chrisitans around me are gonna be so happy, which is a good thing, but in my head it's almost like THEY win... like i have to give up everything. I'm not very good at letting other people (in this case god) control my life. I've always been a free spirit...independent, which i love about myself, but i feel like that is a side of me i would have to lose if i had a renewal, which again i know is not true, but that is how my heart feels. I use to see myself in high school starting to slip from the Lord, and i would get worried and say to myself "Emily if you keep on this track, soon ur not even gonna know right from wrong, and you'll just keep slipping farther and farther from the lord." That is basically what has happened. A lot of times i think about my future, and besides being a successful designer, I picture a husband, with a family that goes to church every sunday. A husband that will pray with me about our lives, and over our children. A good chrisitan man that treats me right and would never cheat on me. Every time i have this vision in my head i can swear i hear god telling me "Emily right now u are not prepared for someone like that, when u decide to put me first in your life that is when i will bless you with someone special." I talk and think about marriage a lot, I think because I'm a virgin, and i'm just anxious to know who i've been saving myself for. I am very proud that no matter what happens in my life, whether with god, or ne thing in my life the one virtue i know will stay with me is my virginity. Unfortunately many times i feel like that is an excuse, like i'm not so bad a christian, but the sad thing is that's not true, i know i've been a terrible christian. Even though i still hold my V card, my sexual desires have always won out in my relationship, and the sad thing is is that my head says it's ok but in my heart i know that if i was a good christian this should tear me up inside. Getting back to that feeling of THEY (god and other christians, basically the body of christ) winning my soul. I think this has to do with the fact that my father, though i love him dearly, has always pushed me to have a good relationship with the lord, and in turn that has made me want to REBEL. I think this rebelling happens with my brothers as well. It's like if someone(my daddy) wants something for u so bad and you constantly feel like it's pushed on you, it's hard to accept it. And like with Ellen and Rachel they are so amazing, because they never push their faith on me, but I can still tell that they want me to get intouch with god, which is what good christian friends are for. But then again sometimes i feel like rebelling against that. I know i need to surrender my life to god. I know when i do surrender it will be me by myself doing it, with no one pushing me. Me alone somewhere just talking to him. That god will continue to bless me no matter what cause he is loving and kind. Well that's all for now. Sorry if i put ne one to sleep.