New Post…yipeee! Randomness ensued last Friday with Rachel when we went to a Taco Bell…I’ve been trying to save money so we ended up choosing a cheap place to eat, hence the Taco Bell. We ate, we laughed, we were merry, I got high off of Mountain Dew and then we saw they had one of those little boxes where you put in 50 cents and get a 100% chance of temporarily branding yourself with a ghetto tattoo. Rachel funded this affair since I had no change or dollar bills and 15 minutes after the discovery we were in the Taco Bell bathroom slathering wet paper towels over our bodies to get our neon colored, ghetto scroll text, sweet talking tattoos. Mine said “Angel Baby”…totally gross and amazing! We, meaning Rachel, also splurged on glitter tattoos. I must admit that I was impressed with the quality of the material because it just washed off this morning, but nonetheless it was a pink rose. Yes, I will allow you to throw up now, but fun and laughs were had.
We then went to see “The Science or Sleep”, which was made by the same person who created “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.” Let’s just say that I love people with big imaginations. Next on the list of movies to see is “Little Miss Sunshine”
HA! I applied at Stein Mart on Monday, but once I told them all of the days I wasn’t willing to work they passed and rightfully so. Then I applied at Target last night…I know I have been warned from Constance and Juanita not to venture into this territory but it would only be for a little while, plus most smaller businesses aren’t interested in someone only working Monday and Tuesday nights. If I work there I know in my dreams I’ll hear “Clean up on aisle 12.. Who is responding…30 seconds Who is responding…15 seconds WHO IS RESPONDING.” If you have ever been in there and heard their walkie talkies dang it gets obnoxious. Why did I apply again? Oh yeah I need to save money.
Also, a few nights ago someone woke me about the possibility of grad school when they reminded me that I would need to start preparing for my GRE like …today. I hate tests but I am looking into dates possibly in February. I guess I’ll have to push taking my LEED exam back, what else is new.
My company is not going to give me off the day after Christmas, which makes me very resentful because I will have to drive back 8 hours on Christmas day, just so I can sit around at the office and do Nada.
Enough bitching.I love life! Ohhhh good times are going to ensue at the end of the month because “Houston it has been confirmed…” that Rachel and I will be blasting off in the golden car of the sun to go visit Ellen! Who knows what will happen possibly streaking through churches, vandalizing homes with love and/or lots of snuggling. We are such rebels. “HEY” (as Rachel would say) I should probably stop writing this and get back to work. Much love “Angel Baby”….gross.

Lately, at church we've been talking about sex. It's been broken down into the beauty, the darkness and God's grace. Everybody that knows me knows that I love talking about sex...but okay and you guys are gonna think i've gone nuts...but I'm kind of getting sick of talking about it. I feel like God has forgiven me for my sins and now I just want them gone. I feel like the more I talk about it, the more it stirs up areas that have already been forgiven and therefore I end up just feeling bad about those areas again, which God didn't intend. He doesn't forgive us so that we can stew in our past...he wants me to be set free.
I think a lot of the reason I feel like sexual temptation isn't really tempting me at all (or at least very little right now) is because there is nobody in my life to tempt me. I'm not dating anybody...plain and simple if there isn't anybody in front of me then...well my temptation has almost vanished. I use to seek out so much attention...I would crave it and I just feel so uninterested in that because I am full of God's love and attention that attention from an earthly man would be nice, but it isn't necessary AT ALL. In fact...I know this is kind of wierd but I went out with this guy today, named Joseph, who is interested in dating me (well i'm not really interested and he knows this) but he kept making nice comments and they just seemed fake. Haha. It made me think about how Rachel always says she is sick of the caucasion men never noticing or always shunning a curvy woman...but today I felt like I kind of wanted a challenge. Does that make any sense? I dunno, but to me it does. It's like a man that freely gives words of flattery to me right now just seems...too...uhh...I dunno sexual and fake. I want someone to get to know me and of course I want them to be a attractive to me (a lot) but at the same time I feel wierd about it kind of. Maybe it's just cause it was coming from someone who I wasn't really attracted to. That was probably it!
Either way ehhh whatever I'm independent and I feel set free from needing compliments now. I do wonder though about the single men at church. I wonder if anybody ever looks at me in a "what if??" kind of way.
The hardest thing right now is for me to be patient. Geez those of you that know me know that I live a very fast track lifestyle and I am really bad at being patient. It's not only patience, but trust. Trusting that God will send me somebody who measures up to my standards. I say I'm struggling in those areas...but at the same time I've been struggling less in those areas than normal...still struggling, but I think it's just because the whole sex topic maybe some how intertwined...anyways God will provide me with whatever I need.

This weekend has been crazy!!! Friday I went with Kristi and Lizzy to a soccer game and a Warren Barfield (check him out he's cool). Saturday Ellen got into town...yeahhh good times. We went to El Cancun with Stephanie and Aaron (her bf). Then Ellen and I went to a Marc Broussard concert in NODA. We went to church on Sunday, then went out to eat with some friends from church and then we decided to go play putt putt golf.
We went to the ZUMA fun center behind the CarMax dealer on Cherry Rd. and for those of you that know me and my green purse...well I didn't feel like carrying it around all day while playing golf...so I left it in my car. We had a good time, but then when we returned to the car I realized that my car had been broken into and my purse was stolen!! Haha! Well the funny thing is that I had both of my credit cards, my drivers license, my cell phone, my cash and my keys. So we (Ellen and I) were kind of rejoicing that I had been relieved of my trash. We filled out a police report at about 5:30pm. On our way out of the parking lot I realized that my CD's were missing too. We laughed it off and went to Dunkin Donuts for smoothies. I got a call at about 6pm "Hi yes is this Emily Becker?" I said "Yes." "Hi there ma'am this is the Charlotte Police Department. Are you by any chance missing a very large green bag?" I said (laughing) "Is this a joke?" "No ma'am this is no joke." "Well actually officer I just reported it missing 1/2 hour ago." "Well we have it down at the station. Are you also missing a black CD case with about 100 CD's in it?" Crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nothing was stolen out of my purse and I got all of my CD's back within an hour of me realizing that they were missing. I told Ellen "Thank god nobody values my trash like I do." Haha the people who stole my stuff just threw it in the woods and somebody was walking by it and (well of course who could not notice my huge bag because it's the size of an elephant) called the police. The police went down and picked it up and found my number inside and called me. When Ellen and I went to the police station there was all of these leaves stuffed in it (along with my junk) and a cockroach crawled out of my purse!! The police officer was laughing at Ellen and I squealing and trying to kill it.
It is so rare that people get there stuff back...let alone within an hour of reporting it! We laughed the rest of the day about it and as I was going to sleep on Sunday night with Ellen sleeping next to me I couldn't help but suddenly burst into laughter like a crazy person. Then Ellen started laughing. Then we finally settled down...only to burst into laughter again!
One thing that I never want to loose is my ability to laugh off almost anything. Stuff is stuff and money is money. The only thing that really matters (and I have to credit this to Eternal because they came up with the phrase) is God People Scripture (GPS), which is why after I got my stuff back I kept making random jokes about having my own GPS system. What can I say...I'm cheesy! This weekend was awesome! I love you Ellen and Rachel I wish you could have been there!

So here I am! I'm an independent single happy woman living on my own in a relatively big city. I've started going to a church pretty regularly and my love for God is really blossoming, which is something that I've needed for so long. I've always said that if there was one thing that God has clearly said to me it is that "once you put me first in your life I will take care of you and send you a truly good Christian man." I've been trying for years to go around putting him first and just trying to find someone on my own, which has failed for the most part. Eternal (the church I'm going to) is just so alive and they are so on fire for Christ. It was and still is a little difficult for me, because as a preachers kid I was always the center of attention and everybody knew me, even though I usually didn't have a clue who they were, but at Eternal I'm still new because I've been on and off and I never really go involved before. I realized that I need to stop waiting for people to reach out to me and I have to be the one to reach out for friendships and connections. I went to a small group tonight for women...and it was just so cool. I was looking around at the women and they are all so beautiful because you can just see them shining with the Lord. They are funny and at the same time really deep. When I was in college I had a best friend who will remain nameless, but I always looked up to her as a Christian woman, who would make me accountable for my actions, because they were usually really off track. She was always beaming with love from the lord and lately she hasn't been the same. I miss being able to ask her questions and having someone that close to me holding me accountable for stuff.
I've dated a lot of people and certainly had my crazy times, and I will never stop being crazy, but one thing that I'm learning at Eternal is that 3 things are Eternal...1st and foremost God, 2nd People and 3rd Scripture. Nothing else really matters. I've been searching for so long for a heartwrenching love, but I've been searching for it in all of the wrong places and at Eternal I'm begininng to find it. Skip, the pastor, this morning was talking about building healthy relationship and cutting off relationships that are not good. Me dating a million men is not going to make me feel whole, in fact it has often left me feeling even more empty and making me stray from the Lord more. I really struggle with my sexuality (not in a "I'm gay" way), but I'm just such a sexual person and that really is my biggest temptation of all. Rachel last week said "Well, maybe you should go on a sexual diet." So that is what I am trying so desperately to do. I will never be perfect in this area, but I should still strive for it. Being a virgin till marriage is such a large commitment that I've always been true to, but being pure is a commitment that I never made. In September Eternal is going to cover sexuality for a month...it really is God's grace trying to lead me in this area. I can feel it. I realized last week that I didn't have a Bible all through college and still didn't have one because I left it at my parents house and it was blown away when Hurricane Katrina came through New Orleans. So I finally bought another one, which felt really good. Darby said that she is hoping to start up some singles events at church, which got me really excited. I want to stop the useless dating and find an admirable man who has such a passion for Christ, but at the same time I'm well aware that I need to grown with just Jesus and I before I'm ready for him. If the coolest most dedicated Christian man in the world asked me out of course i would say yes, but I think my renewed faith is so young that it would get distracted or I would be intimidated by him because his faith is so much stronger than mine. One worry that I really have is that my faith is still growing so those Christians who are just so strong in the Lord , are too good for me at this point. For now I will just try to grow in the Lord and pray that when he is ready and on his terms only he will send me someone special who will make all of my waiting worth it in every way.

Today was a monumental day for me. I spoke with my boss at Office Environments about the possibility of starting there as an entry-level designer. Yes, (deep breath) scary and yet very exciting. If you would have asked me last week where I would be after graduation I probably would have said "uhh hopefully Charlotte"but after much consideration I am excited about this possibility. The staff there is enjoyable to work with and to me that really does mean a lot. My goal is "to get the green design ball rolling" there and become LEED accredited within 2 years of graduation. Once considering this possibility, it is a place I can actually see myself in the future. I'm still scared to death about the whole career thing and being a grown up. Yeah Office Environments is only going to offer me 1 week of vacation for the first year...now that makes it even more frightening. I wonder if I can take another week off non-payed. If I am offered the position I would start part-time in April with an hourly pay. "Today is where your book begins the rest is still unwritten" as Natasha Beddingfield says. The unwritten part of our lives is what makes it exciting and the reassuring part is knowing that God will walk with us and lead us down the right paths.

Tonight I was watching this show called "Three Wishes" on CMT and they were took a family from New Orleans and gave them a new home in South Dakota. The show host went back to the family's house to gather up anything that was salvagable....(deep breath)...the family lived in my neighborhood. They were showing footage of where Leslie and Bellaire intersected, where my family lived for 2 yrs and the water was almost up to the street signs. I think I saw the windows to our old house and a thrashed jeep in the driveway. The family that lived next to us use to always take really good care of their boat and they showed a shot of the boat thrown into their backyard. They were riding around in a boat in the back of the family's house that lived directly across the street from us. The family who I use to babysit for. The toys that were in their backyard were floating and the water was covering their high fence. I knew it was bad but at that moment I just lost it. God really blessed us by having my family be kicked out of that house 2 1/2 months before Hurricane Katrina hit, even though we still pretty much lost everything it was God who rebuilt it all. I never thought I would see footage like that.

Last Semester!!!!????!!! Sigh. Man oh man I'm about to encounter my last semester in college...my last semester in school probably forever. It really scares me. Since I started my internship I have found out first hand just how fast time really does fly when you work a 8 to 5pm job. I'm excited about having a professional career...but at the same time AHHHHHHH it makes me want to scream and stay in college forever. 2 weeks a year vacation????? Who ever said that was enough??? No more crazy summers. No more sleeping in or OH NOOOO No more planning schedules to have Fridays off. I think the thing I am most scared of is boredom...I don't want to be bored at work and come home and watch TV till it's time to go to bed at 10. I'm scared that my friends and I will all part ways and I'll be lonely.
Part of me thinks why not become a teacher...I know that sounds crazy but hear me out...first of all I'd have to work in the field for a while but later in life I could go and get a masters and teach Interior Design somewhere. I'd have summers off and I might even be able to get away with a few fridays off here and there. Life is too short to work till your 50 or 60 than have a few years off before you die. I want to travel, hopefully get married (if it's what god wants for me), be an inspiring designer but I would settle for a hard worker with some great ideas, I want to help people somehow, learn to be a good servant to others and to God (which I really need to work on) and I want to be happy.
This semester is going to be tough because even though my course load shouldn't be too difficult life is going to be really busy with my internship bc i'm working 3 days a week. Another thing that is kind of scary is HELLO where am I going to work...I don't have a job yet. Honestly I'm kind of assuming that Office Environments will hire me when I'm done with my internship...but seriously I need to get it together so I can push for the jobs I want. I know that in the next few weeks I will be going to Gensler to hand my resume to their staff in person...as for Little (Architecture firm) well it sounds like their really is no luck for me there, even though I'm going to keep pressing for it. The reason I really need to go out and promote myself is mainly because I don't even know if I'd like to stay at Office Environments...It's too early to tell really.
Overall I'm filled with feelings of being scared, excited, proud and nervous. Well everyone it's about time I hit the sheets cause tomorrow is the first day of my last semester.