SOOOO Sunday I turn the big 21. Tis exciting! Ellen will be coming down to stay with me on Friday night until I suppose Sunday afternoon or Monday morning. Man I really hope we have a good time this weekend. I just realized that I need to go shopping for a sexy outfit that I can wear to the clubs/bars. This week I'm packed with stuff i have to do outside of my job. One important thing on my list is meet with Nancy Polk on Thursday so she can sign me up to sell AVON. Ohhhhh yeah! Even though i'm gonna sell all of the Avon products I think i'm going to try to push the mark line because it has such a young fresh appeal and most of my friends are my age and interested in those new products...or atleast I hope they are! I really need to make some more money this summer cause so far Farmers Furniture is not giving me the return I need. I've been thinking about this whole end of the summer trip that Rachel, Ellen and I are suppose to go on, even though we haven't set any dates yet, and if we take like a week or a week and a half than that means I only have like a month and 2 weeks left to work at Farmers. God doesn't Farmers sound nasty. Like hey I work at Farmers Furniture. Man it grosses me out sometimes. But the downside to me only working there like a month and 2 weeks is uhh that means i have only a month and 2 weeks left of paychecks. GOD NOOOOOOO. I might continue to work there during the Fall. Even though i really really really don't want to. The only thing is I don't think he's going to be flexible with me at all. Like if I tell him I can only work Fridays I feel like he's going to say "I'm trying to run a business here and either you work Fridays and Saturdays every weekend or i'll have to fire you." I'd just have to say "Respectfully sir, then I am turning in my two week notice because school is too important for me to put it second in my life." Even though the truth is I just don't want to do it anymore. I certainly don't want to work Saturdays because then my whole weekend is ruined. Blaaaah. Well depending on how this Avon thing works out I might not have to keep Farmers, even though i'm nervous that I won't get a good recommendation from them if I don't stay into the fall. It would be an extra like $150 a month (with taxes taken out), which could certainly help out! What do you guys think??? Let me know i'm interested to know what you think about it.
Well Erik hasn't called me since our last date! What the heck? Maybe he read on my last blog that Adam Hunt and I were hanging out again and that freaked him out. Maybe it's the fact that i'm a virgin till marriage and he doesn't think he could handle that. Whatever it is I want to know why men go out on first, second and sometimes third dates with me and never call me again. I use to think it was because by then I usually gave them what they wanted and they no longer needed me anymore, but since we didn't even kiss that obviously is the case. Man i'm confused! I don't get it!

Hey i have a favor to ask of you! My friend Camel (formally called Jonathan) from Charleston broke his neck in a car accident. At first his doctor thought he had fractured his neck, but he recently found out that his neck is broken. He is going into surgery on Monday afternoon and will be having a titanium strip screwed into his neck permanently. So if you would just pray that his surgery goes smoothly and he has a relatively easy recovery I would appreciate it. Thanks...I know he will appreciate it! Goodnight.

I'm so confused. I keep having all these dreams about getting married and meeting the one, but the man, well, I can't remember his face. Adam (Hunt) and I have been hanging out since he got back from visiting up north. He's so easy to talk to. He told me last night "you know what? I think we are gonna get back together." Then he said "I love you", which is not abnormal for us to tell each other that, but the way he said it meant a lot. I do love him but there is this big question mark about whether or not he's the one. Everytime I think about us getting back together that brings me these exciting thoughts of our future together, but at the same time I know right now I need space. I need to date other people and just pray about it. I'm such an inpatient person and I know I'm certainly not going to rush back into a relationship with him right now. This blog doesn't even get close to some of the things i'm thinking right now...but i have to go to work so maybe another time!

Hmmm yesterday an exciting thing happened to me. I received lots of mail, one piece was from IIDA (International Interior Design Association of which I am a member of) and they had sent me a Carolinas directory of all the members and there was my name. I seriously didn't think my name would be in it because i'm a student member, but it was and seeing my name in the book kind of assured me of some of my worries. Sometimes when you work a normal job that has nothing to do with what you want to do in the future and your not getting paid great you start, or atleast i have, started worrying that i'm not going anywhere, even though i know this isn't true, but anyways it reassured me that those worries were ridiculous.Whew close one!
I think these worries sprang up because this summer did not work out how i planned at all. Let's see here architecture firm (nope), summer classics (nope), great boyfriend whom i could take short summer vacations with (nope), time with ellen and rachel (well not as much as i'd like cause of my new uncool schedule at work). But me not complaining cause there are new and exciting things that god will bless me with in the near future...i know.
I had a second date with Erik, which went well I believe. :-D Still no kiss though, which is good but still crazy for me. Rachel said once you have your first kiss it's like you've decided to take it to the next level (aka the physical level) and then it's hard to continue to get to know each other. Even though i knew that they way she put was very true. So for now i'm remaining content with how my dates are going because i've been there and done the physical thing way to fast and I know it's not best. Nonetheless I think the third or fourth date are certainly acceptable for kissing so who knows what could happen. So those of you who are wondering well Adam Walls is out of the picture. It was his decision not to call me and there ya go! But I must shower now and get ready to hang out with Darren today on my day off. So ta-ta!

Sigh...blah blah blah...right now I don't feel like playing catch up. So i'm just going to say what's on my mind right now! I miss Charleston! I miss it. Seriously at this moment I'm getting majorly bummed...like teary eyed bummed. I feel kind of angry about it to. Reason number 1 cause my manager was an ass when he found out my other internship backed out on me and number 2 cause somehow this feeling makes me angry at my parents. Number 2 is hard to explain and understand even for me, but thinking about missing Charleston makes me angry at my parents sometimes because they moved away. Also i'm angry because I feel trapped in this job. This is my last summer ever before the real world grasps me and won't let go. Before the 9 to 5 and overtime kicks in. Damn. This summer is not turning out how I wanted it to. What happened to my dreams of working for Little Architecture and getting paid ass loads of money for an intern and what happened to me being able to plan my days off. What happened to me turning 21 and having a blast. My 21st birthday is on a Sunday in South Carolina! Damn. Thank God I live close to Charlotte and I can go drink there on Sunday and Sat night. This summer just isn't going as planned. There are many wonderful things like my roomate who is amazing, and the fact that I had a really big sale yesterday of $5,000 to one person, but at this moment I think my PMS is kicking in and I just felt like bitching. I really do love Charleston. I would kill to have a night down there and just go party and go to Andolini's and drive by the jump house and play jump music in my car real loud and walk down by the market and go to the beach for a nice sunny day. Ok I have to go and put my emotions and myself to bed. Well wait one more thing! You know who i'm talking about mr. emily's big crush...yeah well i'm getting pissed about him too. I mean geez first of all I haven't heard from him since we went to church and out to lunch on Sunday (and I invited him). It's officially Friday as of 19 min. ago so what the hell? I thought the advantage of me dating an older man would be that he would have seen what else is out there and he would realize that i'm a catch, but I guess not. That's always been my theory on older men and yet i've never seen actual proof to support it. Oh yeah and another thing just Wed. morning I placed a burned CD on his car as a surprise with a note saying I hope you have a great day. And ummm where's the Thank You. Even though we've gone out I seriously don't believe he has given me one compliment...oh wait I lied he said I smelled good on the first date, but that was before this other girl broke his heart I suppose. He hasn't tried to flirt with me and trust issues or not you could atleast acknowledge me or something. AAAAAAAAAhhhhh. There is a possible new man...he knows who he is. It's a little too early to tell and he certainly works way too much, but let's just say I want him to cook for me (wink). Sigh! At least he gave me a compliment and said I had pretty eyes. I haven't had attention in a while, if you can't tell, and I think i'm going to starve. Or maybe I just need some sexual healing. Oh man I would kill for a bastard father right about now! Donny where are you???????I don't know what's up with me right now as i'm typing all of this stuff. It's like when you watch a Charmin commercial and just start crying hysterically out of nowhere...that's what this blog has been like, an emotional rollercoaster! Damn PMS!

Went to New Orleans and came back, anything in between doesn't really matter too much. I did see Donny though. Hehe. Tomorrow, I am going out on a second date with Adam Walls and ya'll know i'm getting excited about that. Also, I found out he will no longer be dating that other girl. Everytime I write something in here I sound 13 again, which is partly why I needed to begin a critique of the book i've been reading in my last blog (to make up for the gross hehe's and sighs about him...not to mention all of the nonsense banter). Well folks I did laundry tonight so I must go fold until dreams grasp me for the evening. Ta-ta!